The Grief of a Grieving Mother
It is frequently said that the grief of a Grieving Mother is the most intense grief known. When a child dies, parents feel that a part of them has died, that a vital and core part of them has been ripped away. The grief caused by their child’s death is not only painful but profoundly disorienting…..children are not supposed to die. These parents are forced to confront an extremely painful and stressful paradox; they are faced with a situation in which they must deal both with the grief caused by their child’s death and with their inherent need to continue to live their own lives as fully as possible. Thus, Grieving parents must deal with the contradictory burden of wanting to be free of this overwhelming pain and yet needing it as a reminder of the child who died.
Grieving parents continue to be parents of the child who died. They will always feel the empty place in their hearts caused by the child’s death; they were, and always will be, the loving father and mother of that child. Yet, these parents have to accept that they will never be able to live their lives with or share their love openly with the child. So they must find ways to hold on to the memories. Many Grieving parents come to learn that “memories are the precious gifts of the heart…[that they need] these memories and whispers, to help create a sense of inner peace, a closeness”
Grieving Mothers ~ B.J.Karrer 1/7/2011
Your little heart beating so strongly all those months is silent.
Your little arms and legs moving so vigorously are still.
Milk falling like tears from your mother’s breasts will never nourish you.
Your eyes will never sparkle, your little voice forever silent.
Your mother and father hold you in their arms, timidly kissing your soft, smooth cheek.
Caressing your tiny fingers and whispering your name with tears.
We dream of holding you,of watching you smile and grow.
Our love is always with you though you will never know.
How quietly he tiptoed into our world, softly, only a moment he stayed.
But what an imprint his footprints have left upon our hearts.